International faux par number 1

I`ve always been a keen subscriber in the school of thought that says "if you’re going to do something then do it properly" and finding myself accidentally gate crashing the district governors farewell honor march in front of 300 horrified eyes wearing a bright pink Hapi (imagine a Hawaii 5.0 / Bruce lee / chuckle brother love triangle... ok... now add tinsel) it really set the mark.

Winding back the clock to before "Hapi-gate"... It was the Rotary districts annual conference, what now feels like, and is, weeks ago. One thing I can say about GSE is that you never know where you’ll end up (and actually more to the point... you never know what you’re doing, where you’re going, how long for, with who... it should actually be called GME the Group Mystery Exchange). I`ve not been able to access a computer for any length of time for a while now so the blog has been on hold. I now have more to write about than i can even comprehend so I`ve decided not to try and just write about a couple of things. Anyway... back to the plot.

The district conference and a new host family... I have to say that it was a bizarre experience. Due to a last minute change of circumstance, I ended up staying with a young couple in there excusive flat in the center of Tokyo... a hard life. I was chauffer driven to the conference in a white Rolls Royce, got the chance to drive a brand new Aston Martin 7 series (I`m not even a car person but I have to admit it did seem a little special) and visited a lot of very nice, and sometimes very strange, Tokyo restaurants (including one that was called ninja... in which the waiters were, you`ve guessed it... ninjas and you had to go through a crystal maze type obstacle course to get in). It felt kind of fitting alongside the extremely well funded and lavish Saitama district Rotary conference. The conference hall was immense... especially when you`re looking out from the stage at 2000 questioning eyes... trying to deliver a presentation in Japanese and hoping that you`re pronouncing the words correctly.

It was a great time though... I bowed and shook hands to the point of giving myself a hernia... ate amazing food (including roast beef... which was a pleasant surprise... the surprise being that it was cooked) and met loads of really nice people. At the end of the ceremony we were presented with a pink hapi each to commemorate our visit and joined a informal buffet meal, with cabaret. It was at the end of this meal that I was involved in Hapi-gate!

As the final speeches were made and the last "campais" were drunk, my host father told me that it was time to go so I dutifully followed him out. I had not realized however that he was a friend of the governor... as he stood on the top of the steps taking to him there was an announcement in Japanese, that was unfortunately beyond my comprehension, informing the crowds waiting below that the governor of the Rotary district was leaving the building and with a great applause and fan fair out he stepped onto the steps followed by a rather bewildered Welshman in a bright pink hapi. It`s hard to say looking back what made me realise that i was in the wrong place. Maybe it was the fact that I was walking down the steps with only two other people, maybe it was the accusing glares that welcomed me below or the rather perplexed sounding commentator... whichever it was... at some point in the 50 or so steps that I was descending i had a sinking feeling in my soul that one can only get from times like that. I felt the burning embarrassment of a million ill considered best man speeches, a generation of fumbled proposals and a chorus of ill timed bowel movements followed by the sticky realisation that you just got more than you bargained for. What do you do in a situation like this... well it`s fight or flight... so i showed my metal... raised my head and thought to myself... "don`t you know who I am?" and carried on down those stairs.

As it turned out it was fine... maybe the conviction of my stride was enough to win the hearts of the masses... or maybe they were just too polite to say anything. How ever it fell... it fell well.